Infatuation vs. Affection
Funny how after so many years of dating experience and you still find yourself asking the inevitable question - is it just an infatuation or do you see yourself falling in love? Perhaps the very fact that you asked is a sign that it isnt anything more than a mere crush. Should one then, dismiss the notion of it ever happening or actually do something about it? What are the tell-tale signs of liking someone? And how do you know when you've crossed the line from infatuation to true affection? Since we're at it, here's a list of parameters that i find helpful, although i'm pretty sure by the time i'm done, i'll be as stumped as i was before. Here goes -
1. Time - infatuations hardly last, although i once had a crush on a senior for 3 years.
2. Anxiety levels - do you feel more excited than petrified at the prospects of letting your feelings be known? The latter could be an indication that you feel more.
3. Scope of fantasy - are all your fantasies with the person in question primarily sexual in nature or do they go beyond the physical?
4. Heart leaping index - Does a text from the person in question send your heart leaping to your throat?
5. Comfort level - Yes, i actually find this the most accurate of all. Let's be honest here, if you are going to spend an awful lot of time with this person, you better feel a certain level of comfort. Enough to speak your mind and be yourself level.
6. Music - happy music is a better barometer of measuring love than sad old bastard music, at least in the beginning. For instance, the song playing in your head when you see that person better be I Can Hear Music by the Beach Boys than Eponine's On My Own.
7. Finally, when you start making a mental list of the person's likes and dislikes, birthdays and pet peeves, thats when you see a warning sign flashing in red that says - THIN ICE AHEAD.
posted by mindless moth @ 4:31 am
6 Comments:
#3 #4 and #5 works for me..especially #4 I guess.
Lately the song playing in my head are Steffy Sun's sad songs! So not much of a crush to speak of!
Stop listening to sad old bastard music, or at least get someone to listen to them with you!
*hugs*
Keep your mind occupied, think about what to buy for our new apartment! Lol.
This extract from The Rules of Life I really like...
"Happiness is such an illusory thing that spending too much time chasing it is not very worthwhile.
Happiness is one end of a spectrum - misery being the other end. It is a state of extreme.
If you check back at times when you've been happy, I bet there were other extreme feelings involved. Take the birth of your child. Excitement, yes. Wonder, yes. Relief at a successful birth, yes. But happiness? People think they'll be happy on holidays. What they mean is relaxed, or stimulated or freed from their cares.
Aiming for happiness is one of those 'bigger is best' things. You are never going to make it because there is no top end limit. You just have to go on aiming for even bigger all the time.
Instead of aiming for happiness, it is better to aim for contentment. That's attainable. That's a worthy goal.
This applies especially to relationships - both to the quest to find Mr and Mrs Right, and in what happens when you do. Most of us want to fall madly head-over-heels in love, Big Chemistry, fireworks, butterflies, unbelievable feelings. It's brilliant. But extreme. That intensity can't and won't last.
Contentment is what you hope for after the elation has worn off and you settle back into a relaxed and blissful simplicity. Contentment is the worthier aim, because it lasts.
So if you find you are with someone where there is no big palpitations or extreme of feelings but there is a baseline contentment and warmth and love, be happy!"
Happiness is a bonus and we shouldnt be too worried if we arent always happy. Agreed. The truth is, there are too many people out there who cant be happy staying contented. Which explains the many miserable love songs and lonely hearts. I have to admit, i sometimes find myself torn between staying contented and chasing rainbows. I suppose it is something that comes with maturity. Hopefully, i'll get there someday soon. :)
Google-FriendlyWhen you first set up your Wordpress site, it is also very important to maintain the heights you achieve with search engines it is necessary to
develop meaningful contents while taking ideas from the web.
If your site has good quality links then you have to scroll through a maze before getting
to the real root of the problem, which could help improve messaging and targeting.
my blog; rank search engines
Since these chances don't happen that often, couples make the most of the time. And I loved it until this same brother began to show signs of aggression or careless behavior. What's the number one
reason for couples asking for their help in dealing with it.
Public bodies must find new ways of being in an open relationship and to the single gay man who finds
two-thirds of his partners.
Feel free to visit my webpage :: diet to Detoxify the body
Post a Comment
<< Home