High

I'm wasting away, body, mind and soul. I could sleep all day and night and still wake up feeling totally wiped out. I'm whining again. I can't help it. I'm not reading at all, nothing of any great interest at least. I tried to. The only literature that seems to interest me of late is my weekly dose of celebrity gossip. I take delight in the carnal pleasures the world has to offer wherever i can find them. The closest description to a feeling i can come up with is high. I feel high. It's ironic. I've officially stooped to a new low. I'm becoming trashy. I don't like it one bit. I'm hoping shame will find me at some point. I'm hopeful. He's leaving in 10 days and i can't decide if i want to see him off at the airport. I'm afraid to be honest. I'm afraid that the tears won't come and the numbness won't go away. Plus it's always better to not know that the last time you see someone is the last time. It's better this way. I need a drink, another drink and a cigarette. I'll be back, with renewed strength in due course.

A Chance Rendezvous

Even though i hate to admit it, it is nice to have someone ask you if the roast pork went well with the chicken rice every once in a while.

On Repeat Mode

Travis
Sailing Away

What are we gonna do,
when you've stopped crying?
What ever you're going through
it's not worth dying.

Chasing away the blues,
I know you're trying.
And nobody wants to lose,
I don't know why.

Cause I live by the river,
live by the river and
I'll die by the river
I'm sailing, away, today.

What are you gonna say
when they stop laughing?
You're giving it all away
when you've got nothing.

How many times a day
you feel like walking?
Taking a holiday from
all the shy-y-y...

But I live by the river,
live by the river and
I'll die by the river
I'm sailing, away, today.

Cause I live by the river,
live by the river and
I'll die by the river
I'm sailing, away, today.

And you've got to grab
the bull by the horns my friend
it's the only way to go.

And when the story's told
we can go home.

So what are we gonna do,
when you've stopped crying?
What ever you're going through
it's not worth dying.

Keeping away the blues
you know I'm trying.
What've we got to lose,
and testify-y-y...

Cause I live by the river,
live by the river and
I'll die by the river
I'm sailing, away,
I'm sailing, away,
I'm sailing, away, today.